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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24475549">I Design Disasters</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luckynumber13/pseuds/Luckynumber13'>Luckynumber13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cupid!Jaskier AU, M/M, and that gets him in trouble, but Jaskier likes to break the rules, ethereal slightly divine beings arent supposed to fall in love themselves, whoopsie you did a romeo and juliet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:41:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24475549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luckynumber13/pseuds/Luckynumber13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>His only goal is to create love stories, but when Jaskier meddles in the lives of mortals, things can go terribly wrong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Various Background Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Design Disasters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Special thanks to penny-ana for letting me write a fic based on their amazing idea! https://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/611154541182844928/altalemur-penny-anna-penny-anna</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>If Jaskier was ever born or created, he didn’t remember. Well, no one remembers their birth, he supposed, but he also knew he never had a childhood. If anyone asked about his parentage, he would lie, or obfuscate, or do everything in his power to distract the person asking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The answer, as he saw it, was love. He was simply a creature created by, from, and for love. Love was his entire reason to exist, and he was to create it wherever he could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For him, that meant romantic love. There were likely others like him out there who worked with other types of love, but he never met them. Jaskier’s greatest joy was creating sweeping romances that would be sung about through the ages. And if other people didn’t write the songs, well, he would just have to write them himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In fair Cidaris, where we lay our scene…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier composed idly as he walked through the city, feeling the strings of fate pull at him. He always knew when an epic love story was about to unfold. It was a sense that he doubted other beings around him felt. He could be invisible, if he wanted to, but why would he? After all, he appreciated beauty in all its forms, so why shouldn’t he make himself look beautiful? He strolled through the city with a lute slung across his back following the familiar scent of something beginning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The city was home to two noble houses that had been feuding for generations. The anger was so old that no one seemed to even remember the original cause. It was exactly the sort of thing a sweeping romance could fix. All he had to do was find the right strings to pull, and as luck would have it, the heir of one of the houses was planning on crashing a party held by the other. Destiny was practically dictating his job, and who was he to deny destiny?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Five days later, Jaskier decided that destiny and love stories didn’t mix very well. Sure, Cidaris was finally at peace, but it cost a pile of bodies including those of the two lovers. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but he could at least tell their story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He traveled onward, looking for somewhere else that needed his skillset. For a while, Jaskier decided to focus on the smaller love stories. The stablehand and the blacksmith’s son could be together with minimal pushing for their parents’ acceptance. He brought the old widower back to the beautiful dancer who passed through his town when they were both young. He orchestrated the match of two nobles in Lettenhove who have been stealing glances at each other during every feast and party they attended, though neither of them were bold enough to make a move until he gently nudged them through song. It was all very sweet and simple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He refused to call it boring. Love was never boring. It was the most exciting, scary, life-affirming thing there was. Smaller love stories were never less important than the ones that - </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alright, he was bored, but it wasn’t as if he didn’t have reason to be. Small love stories just didn’t make the same types of songs that bigger ones did. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a while, he tried to fill the boredom with physical pleasure. When he was in his human form, he could do everything a real human could, after all, so who was he to deny himself the physical act of love? If any of the people he flirted or slept with started developing feelings toward him, he carefully and skillfully worked to attach those feelings to some other mortal. He was only in this for the fun, after all. He couldn’t actually love a mortal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he longed to go back to the days of epic romantic tales. Perhaps it was all vanity, but he wanted to be responsible for a ballad that would be sung for centuries to come. And yes, Cidaris ended up being a mess, but that didn’t mean that they would</span>
  <em>
    <span> all </span>
  </em>
  <span>end tragically, right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Queen Calanthe of Cintra seemed like the perfect subject for his next ballad. At only fifteen, she was already making a name for herself as a strong ruler who took no prisoners in battle. They called her “The Lioness of Cintra.” How perfect was that? If he could just find someone who would be able to break through her tough exterior, he could write a ballad that would be sung for centuries.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His first roadblock was finding someone who was actually willing to </span>
  <em>
    <span>court</span>
  </em>
  <span> the Lioness. There were strange rumors surrounding the young queen that caused any possible suitors to stay away. There were no kings or princes who were willing to step forward, but in Salm, a suitable partner was found with very little pushing from him. Roegner of Ebbing was a perfectly good match for Calanthe, so there was almost no drama about the two of them getting together. After all, when the Lioness made up her mind about someone, no one would actually oppose her wishes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t enough. Jaskier couldn’t turn this into a ballad. He followed invisibly one day as King Roegner set out on a hunt, hoping for at least some small adventure. As the king fell from his horse, he cursed himself for apparently writing another tragedy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was when the young knight appeared. Jaskier could smell the scent of a curse rolling off him in waves. After doing his best to help the king, he identified himself as Duny, and he denied any sort of compensation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>must </span>
  </em>
  <span>offer you something,” King Roegner insisted. After a moment of searching for the right words, he finally said, “the Law of Surprise, then!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jaskier thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hello again, Destiny, my old friend.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Duny nodded and shook the king’s hand in agreement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier suddenly remembered a palace servant mentioning how it had been about two months since they last had to clean blood from the queen’s sheets. Perhaps he was going to get a good story out of Queen Calanthe’s match after all.</span>
</p>
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